Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
