I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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