I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
