she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
nutella sex= disaster
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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