i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
