Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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