He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
