If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
