i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
