I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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