After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
