my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
