woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
