I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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