We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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