yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
ugly people sure do ruin things
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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