remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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