id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
