do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize