Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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