Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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