There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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