Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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