i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
