I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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