guys are not supposed to queef...right?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
