I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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