He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
