I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
do herpes really smell.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
