I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
