I murdered the dance floor call the cops
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The air taste purple.
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