Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
