i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
