id be glad to
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
