Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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