Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
