People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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