sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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