Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
