I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
