They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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