That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
