I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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