hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
