dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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