And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
