Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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