Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
