A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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