so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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