Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
