K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
